I am a little mad right now because I have recently found out how much of my personal life has become a Spectecal or the topic of way to many peoples conversation. As a result of this it has had a negative impact on me. Too many people involved…To many know. Now it is going to be hard to recover from this. It is just interesting to me, I am sure that intentions were good, but I mean come on really if you want to know something about me or what is going on you just need to come to me not everyone else. Now I feel as if I am untouchable and unreachable, that if anyone wants in they have to go through this wall of people who sure yes love me and care about me but just because intentions are good does not mean that is what is best for me. It is weird cause it feels like I have been sabotaged, I am not sayin I have lost but just….Defeated. God is faithful and I know that his perfect plan will be shown through all this. I just have to continue to pray and seek guidance through this time.